age switch [early May]

[bryanzilla]

Bryan hadn't gotten very far after successfully fleeing to what he assumed had to be safety earlier that morning. He made it a few blocks before he was sure he wasn't being followed, asked an elderly man out walking his dog where he was and how far out that was from where he wanted to be. Like all the answers David had given him, none of his answers made sense and all they did was invite more and more questions.

After that unhelpful interaction, Bryan decided to do what he should have done the second David left him alone in that bedroom the first time and call the authorities. When he'd gone to do just that, though, he noticed that the phone he'd grabbed off the nightstand wasn't his. In fact, it wasn't like any he'd seen before. It took him a while to even get into it, the first thing to greet him once he figured it out being an image of David, that baby and himself in front of a house. The house he came from, maybe. Bryan hadn't exactly stuck around the outside long enough to be able to tell for sure.

He forgot about the phone call, instead helping himself to some random homeowner's bench swing outside their house as he navigated the phone, learning as he went. Call history, text threads, video clips, photo after photo after photo. The phone's memory was jam packed with nothing but him and David and a baby, and yet none of it was ringing any bells in his own memory.

His chest tightened with every swipe, every message he read or video he watched, the growing anxiety nearly suffocating.

Bryan's not sure how long he sat there, how many times he viewed the same images over and over again, waiting for something to click. It never happened, though, and the only reason he stopped is because his phone had stopped working.

Something's wrong. With him, maybe with everything. He wants to cry and he wants to go home. When he knocks on the front door, he's not sure that he wants to go back inside, but he doesn't know what else to do or who else can explain what's happening.

Comments

[bryanzilla]

"I've been needy my entire life, so I think I've got him beat there," Bryan says. Although, if David really has been with him for nine years, he probably doesn't need to be told that. Nine hours with him might have given it away. But he is the way he is because of his upbringing. He hopes he isn't repeating the same mistakes his parents made. He wants to be a dad, but is he any good at it?

Bryan shakes his head when David retracts the offer. "No. I mean, not no to holding him. Yes to that. Yeah... Okay."

[gaynecologist]

Sawyer has been okay since Bryan got back but David doesn't point that out. That's too much pressure to put on him so soon.

"Bryan Collins, meet Sawyer Collins." As David passes him over, Sawyer's chatting increases, taking on an authoritative 'pay attention' tone. "Master of the house, keeper of the zoo."

[bryanzilla]

"Omigod, you speak Les Mis." Or it could have just been a coincidence. Bryan will choose to believe the former.

Holding him securely, Bryan looks him over in much the same way he had David earlier. This time, however, he's obviously not trying to pinpoint any differences since they've never met. Instead, he's looking for similarities, things the boy has in common with David. The eyes are hard to miss and just as beautiful on a miniature version of him.

"He looks just like you," Bryan says, smiling at him. "It's nice to meet you, Sawyer Collins."

[gaynecologist]

"It wasn't just People magazine I started following when I met you." David had also channel-hopped to MTV and E! but once he and Bryan had gotten serious, Bryan became his full-time arts and culture news source instead.

"Say hi, Sawy," he encourages, never missing a moment to try and stimulate his progress. "Hi. Hi... We're waiting for his first word," he explains, glancing up at Bryan. "I'm hoping for something complex and intellectual but I'll be happy with anything as long as it's not 'Lady Gaga.'"

[bryanzilla]

"Well I'm doing a great job, if I do say so myself." The baby's current outfit leaves something to be desired, but he hadn't been there to dress him and so the blame is all on David for that one.

"Is that a weird British television show for kids? Like Teletubbies?"

[gaynecologist]

"You don't know Lady Gaga..?" That's like David not knowing what a hobbit is. "She's...just a singer," he explains, completely underplaying her significance in Bryan's life.

Apparently 'soon' is 'now' in Harvey's book, deeming an unoccupied David as fair game. He plants himself down next to him, looking up expectantly. "Nobody important. I mean, she's no Hootie and the Blowfish, know what I'm saying."

[bryanzilla]

"Oh, God, please don't let any of those be his first," he says, covering one of Sawyer's ears in the hopes of keep out all references to Hooties and Blowfishes alike. Nobody wants that. Well, Bryan doesn't want that and that's enough.

"Hello." Bryan looks down at the dog. While still much larger than necessarily, it's much less intimidating when it isn't the first thing he sees after waking up and isn't trying to suffocate them in bed.

[gaynecologist]

It's very Bryan, the way he covers Sawyer's ear to stop him from picking up David's taste. Despite the semi-insult, David takes solace in seeing Bryan's instincts kick in naturally around their son.

"And this is Harvey Milkbone." David nods towards one of the framed photos of Bryan on their couch at home with a tiny Harvey poking out from under an arm. "We've had him since he was a pup. Now he's a bigger pup." Harvey lifts a paw, small barks gurgling at the back of his throat. "The other one you met is Smelly."

[bryanzilla]

"Good name." He picked it, he decides, holding his hand out for Harvey to sniff before giving him a scratch behind the ears.

Dogs. A baby. Today he has a house with a white picket fence, two point five kids/fur-kids and a husband. Last night he had a maybe-boyfriend and probably a lot more than two point five cocktails. It's a lot to deal with, but luckily for him it's all positive, which is making it a lot easier than it might be otherwise.

He wouldn't say no to a few cocktails right now, though.

"Smelly?" David named that one.

[gaynecologist]

"What... I named one, you named one," David replies with a bashful half-shrug, folding his arms. There is something quite unfair about Sawyer being allowed so close to Bryan but David having to keep his distance. But he wouldn't swap places for the world.

"Bryan, I know this is a lot to take in and we don't know what's going on yet, so if you want more time by yourself, we'd get it. I'd get it."

[bryanzilla]

"No," Bryan protests, because he can't imagine anything more unappealing right now than being alone with all of this. He's never done well with being by himself; he hates the feeling. Despite growing up with a pretty big family, it's something he felt a lot. And while he has a vivid imagination and creativity in excess to thank for that now, at the time, he would have just preferred not being made to feel like a stranger in his own home.

"We don't know what's going on, but if anything has a chance of fixing it, it's here." In that room. He tries handing Sawyer back, worried that maybe David would prefer him to go. He did disrupt things earlier that morning by exciting the dogs and making the baby cry and accusing him of murder. "I won't freak out and run away again. I promise."

[gaynecologist]

"Okay..." David takes Sawyer back, assuming that Bryan has already had enough of him. It's a stark reminder not to expect too much from a twenty-six year old and he doesn't manage to hide all of his disappointment.

"This one needs a nap, so uh, why don't you come with me and I can show you around the house," he offers, turning towards the door. "You can look through some of our stuff if you want."

[bryanzilla]

Bryan could argue that he's in need of a nap, too, but he just nods in agreement instead. He can tell David is frustrated with the situation. Anyone in their right mind would be. But this, on top of moving into a new house, all while still dealing with a child? Bryan knows it has to be a lot.

"I'm sorry." For waking up different and not being the Bryan he expects him to be, the one he went to bed with last night, but not before they both tucked Sawyer in, he's guessing. The one who helped pack all these boxes, or at least told David how not to pack them and would no doubt already have known where everything is supposed to go when he supervised David as he unpacked them. He doesn't know any of that, but knowing that this isn't his fault doesn't make him feel any better.

[gaynecologist]

"No, don't." David closes his eyes briefly, then wraps an arm around Bryan's shoulders and pulls him in, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Never apologize for being Bryan."

If it gets a negative reception, so be it. But just in case, he adds, "I'll put him down and make mac 'n cheese for dinner."

[bryanzilla]

Bryan smiles, moving his hand to rest against David's arm and leaning into his touch slightly. It's one of the few familiar things he's been met with today.

"So I don't even have to pretend I'm super into watching what I eat and just live on bunny food?" That's a plus. They hadn't gotten there for Bryan just yet. "Before I met you lettuce leaf was just a Valspar paint color."

[gaynecologist]

Relieved by the reaction, David grabs Bryan's hand and takes the lead up the stairs. "No, but we do have to get you acquainted with organic vegetables again. Those are your favorite."

It's a white lie, one he doesn't expect Bryan to believe. For a moment though, joking like this, David can pretend everything is fine. He can't let himself think anything but that, not when he needs to provide consistency and stability for Sawyer. And who knows what Bryan will need from him.

For better and for worse.